Water Bottles

The Unified Field Theory of Cool


Now that we know for sure that the Large Hadron Supercollider is not going to open up a black hole and destroy the earth, we can turn our attention to other important work going on in Switzerland. That’s where a team of scientists and philosophers are gathered, working day and night on a universal scale for quantifying coolness. Working from a diverse field of indicators ranging from Brando movies and Miles Davis albums on one end to polka records and that show with Urkel in it on the other, this high-powered think tank works day and night to calibrate a precise system of measuring the coolness content in everything, using something they call a Fonzarelli Unit. Soon we’ll be able to tell just how cool something is in terms of its number of Fonzies. Very exciting.

The reason I bring this up is that around here recently we’ve been doing business with some clients who score a whole lot of Fonzies. Not that we feel that any of our customers are uncool — if you’ve chosen to do business with us, you rate serious Fonzies in our book — but even with the roster of high-profile clients InkHead’s served in its young history, lately we’ve filled orders for some folks that’ll make even the most jaded hipster pull down his Ray-bans and take notice.

Paper Hand Fans

Like whom, you ask? Like Lucasfilm Ltd., George Lucas’s company that gave us six Star Wars movies, four Indiana Jones adventures, a couple of spinoff TV shows, and a veritable empire (cough) of books, toys, action figures, and merchandise. And after they’ve done so much for us, what did we do for them? We supplied them with a large order of our Custom Hand Fans for an upcoming event in Florida. We can’t show you what the fans look like, but let’s just say they’re round and can destroy a planet…

Water Bottles

A recent customer who also warmed our fanboy and fangirl hearts is another franchise that’s been going strong since the 1970s, KC and the Sunshine Band! Whether you believe disco died thirty years ago or will live forever, you know you’d recognize “Shake Your Booty” and “That’s The Way I like It” in ten seconds or less. KC and company are still on the road, and for them we made Promotional Water Bottles for their merchandise table, just the way (uh-huh uh-huh) they liked it.

And just this past week, we filled an order for one of America’s foremost cathedrals of cool, the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem. For them we did Imprinted Hand Fans with the upcoming schedule for their infamous Amateur Nights. If you’ve ever watched Showtime at the Apollo you know that everybody who gets up on Amateur Night faces an audience that can make them or break them with a ruthlessness Simon Cowell can only imagine. Our fans are going to the Apollo! How much cooler can you get than that?

One of the big perks of this job is the chance to work, even in a small way, with people and companies that have moved us personally. At InkHead, our Fonzies are rising.

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